Shari Leid - Life Coach, Breast Cancer Survivor, and Author, The 50/50 Friendship Flow: Life Lessons From and For My Girlfriends

Shari Leid

Shari Leid is a former lawyer-turned-life coach, debut author and breast cancer survivor.

From a very young age, Shari was a checklist person. The former lawyer-turned-life coach and author did everything in order: graduate college, go to law school, get married, buy a home, have kids and get a dog. Check. Check. Check.

Then, she hit her mid-40s and realized something was missing. After surviving a catastrophic car accident as well as a breast cancer diagnosis that resulted in a double mastectomy, Shari took stock of her life and her relationships. “I made it my mission not to allow another year to go by where I did not take the time to sit down one-on-one with each of my girlfriends to share the meaning she brought to my life,” Shari, now in her early 50s, explains.

What culminated was The 50/50 Friendship Flow: Life Lessons From and For My Girlfriends, her debut memoir-meets-journal offering a conscious path to not only maintain friendships, but to deepen those relationships. The 50/50 Friendship Flow details the personal challenge the author embarked on by sitting down one-on-one with 50 friends over the course of one year to share the positive impact they had made in her life. Shari reveals that by taking on this meaningful challenge yourself, you will discover everyone you meet is both your teacher and your student, the feelings of happiness and enrichment as you deepen your friendships, and the purpose and life lessons each person has brought into your life.

I’m so excited for you to connect with Shari, check out her work and new book, and follow along as she continues to work with women who live the imperfectly perfect life by helping them recognize that the answers to their journey lie within.

I'd love it if you'd introduce yourself, what you do, and what you're working on.

I received my Bachelor of Arts in Psychology from the University of Washington in 1992. I worked as a litigator for many years, having graduated from Seattle University School of Law in 1995. I currently operate An Imperfectly Perfect Life, LLC, a professional life coaching business serving women, helping guide them towards recognizing their power. I am also the author of the recently released book, The 50/50 Friendship Flow – Life Lessons From and For My Girlfriends.

From a very young age, I was a checklist person. After high school, I earned a Bachelor of Arts degree in Psychology, followed by a law degree. Check. I married my law school boyfriend. Check. We bought our first home. Check. We became parents to two beautiful children, a boy and a girl. Check. Add a dog, and I was living the perfect checklist life.

Then, I started to really “adult” – and that is when the checklist became murky. I found that life threw curveballs that weren’t part of my checklist. In 2001, my dad died suddenly on my mom’s birthday. Later that same year, soon after adopting our daughter at 14 months of age from China, we learned that she had special needs that were best served if I quit my practice as an attorney and became available to accompany her to her numerous medical, educational, and therapeutic appointments. In my 30s, I received a surprise diagnosis of hip dysplasia in both hips which required bi-lateral hip replacements. Finally, when my 40s hit, I received a breast cancer diagnosis which was followed by a double mastectomy.  

It was during my breast cancer journey that I began to reflect on my life experiences which also included a catastrophic car accident in my 20s and my own adoption (I was orphaned in South Korea and adopted by an American family) that I recognized that these challenges were placed in my path for a reason. Recognizing that my strength came from my struggles and that the perspective I was able to maintain during these struggles kept me out of a place of victimhood or feeling stuck, I knew these skills that I learned were something that I could share with other women to help them find their inner strength to find a healthy perspective during times when life decides to throw a few curveballs. This belief is what lead me to the field of life coaching. 

How did you get started?

After I completed my training to become a certified life coach, I began seeing clients remotely via Zoom appointments which allowed me to meet with clients from all over the country from day one. While live video conferencing and telephone coaching appointments have been the norm for probably the majority of coaches for several years, once the COVID-19 pandemic hit with most of the country required to stay at home, remote coaching has certainly become the industry standard. Most of my clients have found me through word of mouth, which is the best compliment any professional could ask for!

What inspired the work that you're doing?

My children inspire my work. I made a shift from litigator to stay-at-home mom to becoming a life coach in my late 40s and a first-time author at age 50. I am inspired to live a life by example for my children. I find it important for them to see that life is a place of constant learning and growth. It is important that they see that life does not always follow a straight path and it is okay for them to swerve when they need to. For them to see me excited and happy about a new career as a writer at age 50, something I dreamed of being as a child – brings me great inspiration and joy.

What is your biggest passion? Do you feel like you're living your passion and purpose?

My biggest passion is guiding my clients to find the answers that lay inside of each of them. I feel energized when I am able to assist my clients to find a shift in both perspective and energy from a place that has been holding them back to a place that allows them to move forward. The shift allows them to see choice which is very powerful. 

When I decided to start a new career after being a stay at home mom for nearly a decade, I had the opportunity to choose a career based on how I wanted to contribute to the world. When I initially chose a profession at age 22, entering law school – I chose the profession based on external factors: prestige, a title, an expectation. I did not know myself well enough to understand the power that comes from discovering and living my passion and my purpose. Now, at age 50, I wake up filled with joy each day that stems from a life filled with passion and purpose. The feeling is so great, that I wish for everyone to feel this joy, and that is my goal as a life coach – to have every client that I work with achieve the ultimate goal in life: happiness.

What is your joy blueprint? What lights you up, brings you joy, and makes you feel the most alive?

If I close my eyes to focus on what my joy blueprint looks like, I see myself standing in the middle of the blueprint surrounded by family, friends, and even strangers with big bold white lines indicating strong connection between some of us and thinner white lines indicating weaker connections – but nonetheless, despite the thickness of the lines, everyone is connected. My joy blueprint is clearly relationships, building strong relationships and making connections. I feel most alive and filled with joy when I feel rooted in my relationships.

How do you live intentionally? Are there tools/resources/practices that you rely on to help you stay mindful and grounded?

I start each day with a cup of coffee, reading a few pages of a book that I find inspiring, and writing in my journal. I allow myself an hour between the time I wake-up and put down my book or my pen. I am now in my third consecutive year of journaling each day. My journal entries are not long. Some days, I write about what I am grateful for. Other days, I write requests for additional opportunities to come my way. And, many days, I write about my challenges and I make notes to remind myself of what I believe my purpose in life is and how I wish to show up. I write intentions and short notes of gratitude and prayer for my husband, children, and friends - reminding myself to do my best to be present with love and grace, even when conflict presents. After I write my day’s journal entry, I look back at my entries from the past years on that day. The regular review of past journal entries is so important. The past entries remind me of where I was a year ago, two years ago, three years ago - which keeps me in gratitude for my life journey – I often see that most of my worries of past years turned out to be time wasted which prompts me to live with intention, stay mindful, and grounded.

What would your younger self think about what you're doing now?

If my younger self had a chance to meet me now, I believe that she would have been relieved to see that I am living my passion and purpose in my work as a life coach and author. At one point, years ago while still practicing law, my morning theme song on my drive to work was, I will survive, by Gloria Gaynor. Each morning my drive to work consisted of an off-key sing along with Gloria Gaynor. I no longer need a morning survival theme song, because I wake up feeling excited about the day, knowing that I’m thriving and not simply surviving. My younger self would rejoice to know that the future me finds her way to a life filled with joy.

Do you have a go-to mantra or affirmation? 

My favorite go-to mantra, one that I write frequently at the top of my daily journal page is simply, I belong. So much of my life, I spent trying to prove myself to others. I realize now that when feelings of self-doubt arose, it stemmed from a place of believing that I didn’t belong – whether it be at school, at work, immersed in a new situation, or meeting a new group of people. These simple two words, I belong,  remind me that I am exactly where I am supposed to be. These two simple words keep me from dwelling in the past or wasting precious time worrying about the future. This go-to mantra prompts me to live each day with intention and joy.  

What is your biggest dream?

My biggest dream is that my legacy, what I will be known for when it is my time to leave this world, is a woman who dedicated her life to helping other women find happiness so that they can live a life not wasted on self-doubt and fear but a life filled with intention, purpose, and joy.

To learn more about Shari and her work visit her website https://animperfectlyperfectlife.com/ and on Facebook @animperfectlyperfectlife Instagram @an_imperfectly_perfect_life and you can find her book on Amazon here

Joy Corner is an interview-style blog series brought to you by Seek The Joy Podcast. Our mission continues to be a desire to share your stories, truths, joys and inspiration in your words. We invite you to join our corner, and share your joys, passions, and moments of inspiration as we continue to seek the joy, together. Join this series here