Dr. Lise Deguire - Clinical Psychologist and Author, Flashback Girl: Lessons on Resilience from a Burn Survivor

Dr. Lise Deguire

Lise Deguire is a clinical psychologist in private practice for over 20 years. The lone surviving child of unsettled and iconoclastic parents, she grew up all over New Jersey and Long Island. Following a horrific fire where she suffered burns on two-thirds of her body, she spent much of her childhood alone in a Boston hospital, undergoing countless surgical procedures.

Dr. Deguire graduated summa cum laude, Phi Beta Kappa, from Tufts University and earned her doctorate in clinical psychology from Hahnemann/Widener University. She maintains a solo practice in Pennington, New Jersey. Dr. Deguire has appeared on television and radio, and has been published in the Trenton Times, GrownandFlown.com, and Medium.com. She also writes about psychological resilience issues in her blog and is a national keynote speaker. Author of Flashback Girl: Lessons on Resilience from a Burn Survivor, she is married, has two grown daughters, and lives in Bucks County, Pennsylvania.

I’m so excited for you to connect with Dr. Lise, check out her work and new book, and follow along as she continues to offer inspiration and guidance to those who are suffering life’s challenges.

I'd love it if you'd introduce yourself, what you do, and what you're working on.

Hello and thank you for having me. I am Dr. Lise Deguire, psychologist, author, and burn survivor. As a presenter, I wear two hats. On one hand, I am a multiple trauma survivor, and I write and present about my personal experiences. On the other hand, I am a clinical psychologist and I bring my professional expertise to the discussion as well.

How did you get started?

At the age of four, I was trapped in a horrific fire, caused by both maternal and corporate negligence. I was third degree burned on two-thirds of my little body. My neck, chin and lower lip were melted away and my upper arms were fused to my torso. In 1967, when this fire occurred, it was rare to survive this severe an injury. But I was lucky enough to be brought to the best burns hospital in the country, and so here I am.

That story was just the beginning of a childhood full of drama. My parents were loving but self-absorbed, and not able to keep my brother and me safe. By the time I went to college, my family had collapsed. My parents divorced and my brother, who was my favorite person and best protector, had taken his own life. 

I went to college and graduate school and studied to become a psychologist. It took a lot of time, help, and work, but I have built a beautiful life. I recently published my memoir, Flashback Girl: Lessons on Resilience From a Burn Survivor. It is my story of surviving and overcoming tremendous odds and forging a happy ending. It is my hope that my memoir can comfort and inspire others who suffer deeply. Life can be brutal, but we can overcome challenges. I hope to inspire others to keep going.

What inspired the work that you're doing?

Life is challenging for all of us. As a psychologist, I hear story after story of tremendous hardship and struggle. I do my best to support people and help them heal. It is now my mission, having written my memoir, to use my book as a vehicle to reach more people who suffer. I am hoping that my story of surviving multiple trauma and building a beautiful life can help others realize that they too can surmount difficulties and thrive.

When I wrote the book, I had no idea that it would be released in 2020, this awful year of universal struggle and hardship. There is literally no one in this country who isn’t having a very difficult time. All of us need resilience right now. I believe that my story of surviving great difficulties and overcoming them will resonate with people. 

What is your biggest passion? Do you feel like you're living your passion and purpose?

I think that the good thing about suffering is that it can change people for the better. Many people who live through tragedy emerge from the experience with increased compassion, empathy and wisdom. My passion is to use my tragedies to help other people keep going. 

I have done this for decades in my practice. Although, I do not talk about my history with my clients. Their therapy hours are devoted to their experiences, and not to mine in any way. Still, my history has deepened my capacity for empathy and care, and I believe that it has been a tremendous asset as a clinician. Plus my scars have always been visible to clients, silently signaling that I understand suffering in my own way.

Now, as an author and presenter, I am speaking more openly about my own trauma history. I hope to reach as many people as possible, to spread the message that we humans can survive and thrive, and not to give up on yourself, even if you are in a terrible time. 

What is your joy blueprint? What lights you up, brings you joy, and makes you feel the most alive?

My daughters’ faces light up my heart. They are grown women now, 23 and 21years old, and they are off on their own, building their own futures. So, I am doubly happy when I get to see them now.

Being a mom was the most healing event of my life. My first family was more or less decimated by the time I became a mom. It was profoundly healing to start a family of my own. I love being a mother. Obviously, being a parent is also full of challenges and worries. I have had many more sleepless nights since becoming a parent. But seeing my daughters’ faces fills me with joy. Literally, just the sight of them sets my heart singing. Julia and Anna bring me the most light and joy, just by walking into the room.

How do you live intentionally? Are there tools/resources/practices that you rely on to help you stay mindful and grounded?

I am a big believer in the healing powers of exercise and meditation. I try to do these activities daily, because I always feel better when I do. 

My strongest intention is always make the time for the people in my life. I am a devoted wife, mother and friend. It can be hard to make the time, particularly right now, as I am promoting Flashback Girl while also maintaining my private practice. But I believe, and science confirms, that relationships are the most important element for a happy life. For me, I am positive that my brother and my friends saved me by loving and caring for me. So, I am equally devoted to loving and caring for my family and friends.

What would your younger self think about what you're doing now?

I think my younger self would be overjoyed. When I was little, I could not have imagined being happily married, having a wonderful family, and leading such a blessed life. I always had hope that my life would improve. But I could have never envisioned this wonderful life was in my future. And that is one of my inspirations for the work I do: just because you may be suffering now, you never know how wonderful your life can turn out. That is the message I am trying to spread: have hope and keep going.

Do you have a go-to mantra or affirmation? 

Whenever I finish my morning meditation I turn my hands outward and say, “May I give love, patience and care.” Then I raise my hands up and ask, “May I receive love, patience and care.” That affirmation grounds me for the rest of the day. It grounds me in what I consider to be most important thing, being kind and present for others. It also helps me ask for replenishment so that I can keep going. 

What is your biggest dream?

Well. My biggest dream is that my book reaches the widest audience possible. I dream of any way this can happen.

I wish that Oprah Winfrey could read my book and select it for her audience. I know this is an audacious dream, and that Oprah is a very busy woman. But I truly think that Flashback Girl is just the sort of book that she loves: a true story of an unfortunate, person, overcoming tremendous odds, and living in service to others. That is now my biggest dream; that Flashback Girl becomes an Oprah book. 

To learn more about Dr. Lise, her new book, writing, speaking and blog visit her website www.lisedeguire.com and on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter and LinkedIn and you can find her new book Flashback Girl: Lessons on Resilience From a Burn Survivor is available now on Amazon and Barnes and Noble

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