Ep. 51 What Are Your Go-To Emotions?
Happy #SeekTheJoy Tuesday!
This week’s episode is a solo episode and it is jam packed with some good stuff (if I say so myself!) I’m chatting all about our go-to emotions and how to start choosing the emotions that we align with, not taking things personally, anxiety around connection and FOMO, and I’m joined by my friend Anna Cecilia of Project Babe to chat about Domestic Violence Awareness Month.
What’s your baseline emotion?
What is your default, your first reaction, what response feels second nature for you?
I was sitting in Guru Singh’s class a few weeks ago and this is a question he posed in his lecture.
What is the container of emotions that you’re operating out of, and does it match who you know you are, who you want to be, and how you really want to show up in the world?
My baseline emotion is sadness with a touch of depression. Now that I think about it, you can also add a touch of frustration and impatience.
This is my default, it’s the way that I show up in the world naturally and it’s been a challenge to move out of this, to push myself out of this. But it’s a challenge that I am embracing, because it’s not the container that I want to stay in. Honestly I think it’s no coincidence that I have a podcast about seeking joy! Because I am constantly in a state of reaching for and seeking that joy.
From there he asked us to think about what is the container that we want to operate out of. What are the emotions, the responses, and the feelings that we want to exist in, that we want to respond with?
For me, it’s intuition, calm, love, and compassion.
Operating from a space of intuition and calm, choosing love in every moment, and responding to myself and others with compassion.
So, what are the emotions that you want to show up with?
I encourage you to spend a little time thinking about this - because it’s truly powerful. It’s about having the awareness and the willingness to expand and shift into how we want to show up in the world.
Honestly this week’s episode is a reflection of the free association of thoughts that run through my brain at any given moment 😂. From here I spent some time talking about not taking things personally.
Real talk: it’s hard not to take things personally.
When someone doesn’t acknowledge us, see us, or hear us - it’s hard not to take it personally.
When the energy that we give isn’t reciprocated - it’s hard not to take it personally.
When you put your heart and soul into something, and it isn’t acknowledged, valued, or celebrated by another - it’s hard not to take it personally.
We hear a lot about how we need to celebrate ourselves first.
We hear a lot about how we need to see our own worth first.
We hear a lot about how we need to acknowledge ourselves and not seek validation from the outside world.
But guys, I’m calling BS.
Hear me out.
You can know your heart, you can see your soul, you can recognize your value, you can celebrate your worth - but when you put something out into the world that is a mirror of who you are, when it is your passion, and it’s rejected or ignored, my god does it sting.
You can validate yourself until the cows come home, but it doesn’t mean that rejection won’t still hurt. (Is that how the expression goes? I think it is!)
I’m learning that it’s important to see the rejection, allow myself to feel the rejection, and understand and trust that it’s a mirror of the other person. It’s a reflection of lessons they haven’t learned. I’m learning that people who can’t celebrate their own dreams, aren’t going to be able to celebrate our dreams.
When I sat down to record this week’s episode I had no idea what I would talk about. The truth is there’s so much going on right now - both in my personal life and in the world at large - so deciding what to chat about is always a bit of a challenge.
“What’s going to be the most relevant right now?” is a thought that often runs through my mind.
Last week on my Instagram page I shared a post about anxiety, connection, and FOMO (you can see the post here!) and the comments and DMs that I received in response to this post knocked my socks off. So many of you could relate and shared how you’ve been handling and dealing with anxiety around staying “connected.”
I’ve noticed that if I’m not connected to the outside world I feel anxious and some major FOMO. But when I pick up my phone to be and feel connected - to respond to that text, Instagram comment, check my email - my anxiety goes way up. At first I thought maybe it’s a fear of really being alone with myself, my thoughts, my dreams and my fears. But the truth is I love being alone. That quiet time is when I truly feel the most like me and free to create, free to be, and free to really move at my own pace. But despite that I keep finding myself reaching for my phone.
In this week’s episode I expand a little bit more on the thoughts I shared in last week’s Instagram post, and there are a couple of “aha” moments mixed in there. too
I can’t wait to hear your thoughts on all of this - make sure to join the conversation here!
October is Domestic Violence Awareness month, and I thought who better to come on and talk about DVA and how we can get involved than Anna Cecilia of Project Babe.
Anna and I chat about what domestic violence is, healing, empowering, and educating survivors and allies, and the role of awareness.
Helpful Resources:
GIVEAWAY!!
Our fourth giveaway in our month of giveaways to celebrate the one-year anniversary of the podcast went live yesterday on our Instagram page! Thank you SO so much to all of the generous women and companies that participated in this week’s giveaway!
To enter to win a necklace from Carly’s Haven Jewelry, Moon Mama Tee from Norma Jean Loves, a baseball cap from REDHOTCHIX, a bracelet from Seek The Joy podcast, a $50 Gift Certificate from The Style Theory, Fierce Feminist and Janet Pin Set from Voice Box, and Spiritually Lit Tee from Words and Wraps . . .
(1) Follow @seekthejoypodcast on Instagram (2) Like the post announcing the giveaway (hint: look for this photo right here!) and (3) tag a friend who would also love this giveaway. Bonus entries for (1) following @carlys.haven.jewelry @normajeanlovesdoodles @redhotchix @wearewomenowned @voice_boxx_ @wordsandwraps and (2) liking their three most recent photos.
Enter as many times as you like, one friend per comment! This is not sponsored by Instagram. Giveaway closes 11:59pm PST on 10/26! One winner will be chosen at random and announced on 10/28. Good luck! 🍀
So what’s included in this week’s giveaway?
Crystal of Carly’s Haven Jewelry (Necklace) has been such an amazing friend to the podcast and I love all of her beautiful creations - I’m so excited to include this fabulous necklace in this week’s giveaway!
Norma Jean of Norma Jean Loves (Moon Mama Tee) came on the podcast earlier this year (Episode 24!) and she is amazing. Her tee is made in Bali and it features the moon cycle and the intention for each phase of the moon (I mean, how cool is that!?)
Brigitta of REDHOTCHIX (baseball cap) and I met at an event a couple of months ago and I’m so excited by the company she’s creating that’s all about female empowerment (coming soon!)
Lisa of We Are Women Owned ($50 gift certificate to The Style Theory) I was introduced to Lisa and the incredible sisterhood she’s created with WAWO earlier this year and guys - this community is the real deal. I’ve met so many amazing women and I’ve received so much support, I really can’t say enough about WAWO
Taylor of Voice Box (Fierce Feminist and Janet Pin Set) - started Voice Box to empower and encourage women to use their voice and make waves in society. She is the definition of a #girlboss and I love her feminist pins and the message behind them.
Jhlechia and Saliyma of Words and Wraps (Spirtually Lit Crop Tee) have been such amazing friends of the podcast and I am so inspired by the movement they’re creating to bring women of color together from different walks of life towards communal reconnection and healing through words and the bold reclamation of their story.
Me! Seek The Joy Podcast #SeekTheJoy Bracelet - can’t wait to see one of you rocking this limited edition merch!
Did you hear? We launched #SeekTheJoy merch! (cue internal screaming!!!) Yup, Seek The Joy bracelets are here and I am SO EXCITED. Check them out here - I can't wait to see you guys rockin your bracelet!
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